One of our main goals in Human Resources is to help our companies, employees, and ourselves build a better and brighter future. After 40 years of training and consulting, Ron McMillan shares the three big lessons every HR specialist should take to heart to make your impact on the future even more meaningful.
How we start a crucial conversation matters. It determines if we’ll get great results or create a whole new set of problems. Specifically, the opening 30 seconds are extremely critical. Before we do anything else, we need to be clear on our goal — which isn’t to convince or compel. The real goal is to get better results. Here’s how:
At VitalSmarts, we talk a lot about the importance of a safe environment for crucial conversations. But sometimes, safety’s not enough to make the crucial conversation a success. Even situations where mutual respect and mutual purpose abound, conversations can still fail because of an interesting phenomenon called The Halo Effect.
Mutuality isn’t all about the other person. It’s about you, too. For people who know the literal definition of mutual, this may not seem like great insight. But for me, it makes a big difference.
Usually when we think about finding mutual respect and mutual purpose for creating a healthy conversation, we focus solely on the other person and their goals, but this is too one-sided. The most important part of mutuality is missing. We need to care about ourselves and our own goals as well if we want a healthy relationship.
From Emily Hoffman: After 10 years at VitalSmarts, I discovered a secret: Crucial Conversations skills don’t always work. At least, they don’t always work the way we think they should. But they still work. These skills bring you to a solution, even if it’s not the solution you were originally hoping for. After struggling through marriage and divorce, I’ve learned just how powerful and positive these skills can be.